Usually my husband takes our 3 yr old son to the bathroom when we're somewhere in public, but sometimes I end up having to take him into the women's restroom. Generally nothing goes wrong, but when it does....
*3 yr old boy enters stall*
3 yr old: I locked the door, Mommy
me: good for you
3 yr old: I'm getting on the potty now
me: ok
3 yr old: Hey!
me: what?
3 yr old: There's a little mailbox in here!
me: no. no there isn't.
*woman washing her hands starts snickering*
3 yr old: YES! There is! Cool! We don't have to go to the post office, WE CAN JUST BRING OUR MAIL HERE!
me: No, it's not a mailbox. PLEASE don't touch it.
*woman behind me is done washing her hands and comes to stand by me, while laughing quietly*
*sound of "mailbox" opening*
3 yr old: it IS a mailbox! there's lots of room for mail in here!
woman beside me: OH MY GOD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Realizing what she's done, the woman covers her mouth, quickly apologizes, and runs out of the bathroom, no doubt to laugh her butt off while telling the rest of the people at her table what's going on.
me: Please, just finish going potty. Don't touch that thing.
Finally my 3 yr old got the idea that maybe he shouldn't be touching the "mailbox," finished his business, and got a very thorough handwashing.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Thursday, August 3, 2006
When I grow up...
This afternoon my kids were sitting around discussing their futures. While I listened in, the following dialogue took place:
8 yr old: When I grow up I want to be a famous scientist. I'm going to change the world with my new ideas!
5 yr old: When I grow up I'm going to be anything I want, and I'll be the best there ever was!
3 yr old: When I grow up I'm going to put a fork on top of my head.
8 yr old: When I grow up I want to be a famous scientist. I'm going to change the world with my new ideas!
5 yr old: When I grow up I'm going to be anything I want, and I'll be the best there ever was!
3 yr old: When I grow up I'm going to put a fork on top of my head.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I'm going to write a note!
Anyone who's even briefly met my 5 yr old daughter probably has heard that she hates boys. If you haven't met my daughter, don't fret - I can sum up her world view in 3 words that I hear from her constantly: I HATE BOYS!
This morning she was playing with her brother and our neighbor's two kids (making the group total 2 girls and 2 boys), and the topic of boy hating inevitably came up. The conversation was funny, especially with the boys joining in to agree that she definitely hates boys, while they were playing games with her and generally having fun. I won't bother trying to recreate the discussion here, but I will give you the following gem that emerged from it...
5 yr old: I'm going to prove how much I hate boys by writing a NOTE about it! Do you hear me? A NOTE!
This morning she was playing with her brother and our neighbor's two kids (making the group total 2 girls and 2 boys), and the topic of boy hating inevitably came up. The conversation was funny, especially with the boys joining in to agree that she definitely hates boys, while they were playing games with her and generally having fun. I won't bother trying to recreate the discussion here, but I will give you the following gem that emerged from it...
5 yr old: I'm going to prove how much I hate boys by writing a NOTE about it! Do you hear me? A NOTE!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
He's gone wrong.
My 3 yr old has the strangest thought process, and I'm at a loss to understand it. We'll be having a normal (for a 3 yr old) conversation, when suddenly he'll bring up the most incongruous statements... here are a couple of examples:
example 1)
The other day he was helping me do laundry...
Z: I'm a good helper, right?
me: you sure are!
Z: I did a great job putting soap in!
me: you sure did!
Z: My sister is a good helper too
me: yep!
Z: and my bigger sister is a good helper sometimes
me: Usually
Z: and Daddy helps when he comes home
me: That's right, he does. We all help each other.
Z: Not spiders. Spiders don't help at all. Spiders are useless.
At that point he left the room, leaving me totally confused.
example 2)
The dog had been playing with the kids, and Z was describing the situation to me...
Z: Kashi kissed my ear and my nose! She loves me!
me: She loves all of you kids!
Z: Yes, but she loves ME!
me: everyone loves you, because you're so sweet!
Z: I know that! You love me, and my sisters love me!
me: and Daddy loves you too!
Z: I know Daddy loves me! and Grandma!
me: yep, Grandma loves you to!
Z: But gloves don't have hands.
Again he quit talking and just left the room. I have no idea where that came from, and, while he is correct, I have no idea what empty gloves have to do with who loves him.
My only guess is that he's trying to find a way to end the conversations, and has figured out that mentioning the first thing that comes up in his mind throws people off so they just stop talking. As confusing as it is, I think it's hilarious, so I hope he keeps it up.
example 1)
The other day he was helping me do laundry...
Z: I'm a good helper, right?
me: you sure are!
Z: I did a great job putting soap in!
me: you sure did!
Z: My sister is a good helper too
me: yep!
Z: and my bigger sister is a good helper sometimes
me: Usually
Z: and Daddy helps when he comes home
me: That's right, he does. We all help each other.
Z: Not spiders. Spiders don't help at all. Spiders are useless.
At that point he left the room, leaving me totally confused.
example 2)
The dog had been playing with the kids, and Z was describing the situation to me...
Z: Kashi kissed my ear and my nose! She loves me!
me: She loves all of you kids!
Z: Yes, but she loves ME!
me: everyone loves you, because you're so sweet!
Z: I know that! You love me, and my sisters love me!
me: and Daddy loves you too!
Z: I know Daddy loves me! and Grandma!
me: yep, Grandma loves you to!
Z: But gloves don't have hands.
Again he quit talking and just left the room. I have no idea where that came from, and, while he is correct, I have no idea what empty gloves have to do with who loves him.
My only guess is that he's trying to find a way to end the conversations, and has figured out that mentioning the first thing that comes up in his mind throws people off so they just stop talking. As confusing as it is, I think it's hilarious, so I hope he keeps it up.
Tuesday, December 6, 2005
Where there's smoke there's fire!
Said by my 3 yr old while we walked to his preschool this morning, in ~15 degree (F) weather:
"My mouth is smoking! I must have fire in my tummy!"
"My mouth is smoking! I must have fire in my tummy!"
Tuesday, November 1, 2005
You Didn't SEE Me!
Ah, the fun of trying not to laugh at kids...
I told my 4 yr old that if she ate all of her lunch (half of a turkey pot pie), she could have a piece of Halloween candy. She was excited about the idea, but after a bite or two she gave up eating to watch me clean the house, and to sit on my lap while I played a computer game. Around 2 PM she climbed off my lap and quietly walked into the kitchen. Her departure was followed by the following sounds: scraping, a bag rustling, and a dish being put in the sink. About 10 seconds later, she appeared at my side, with a huge smile on her face...
4 yr old: There! I finished my lunch and you said I could have some candy!
Me: Yeah... you scraped your bowl into the garbage, and you are trying to trick me.
4 yr old: *shocked look* You didn't SEE me, so how do you know?
Me: so you didn't do that?
4 yr old: *deer in headlights look* I wouldn't! You didn't SEE me!
Me: Alright, then I'm going to walk in there and SEE
4 yr old: No! You can't! It won't be right! Don't do that!
I walked into the kitchen and she grabbed the garbage bag then showed it to me - on the top of the bag was what appeared to be half of a turkey pot pie...
4 yr old: I should have told you, my brother threw HIS away!
Me: Your brother didn't get any.
4 yr old: Oh, you just didn't KNOW he got some!
Me: Nice try, but you still don't get any candy.
I told my 4 yr old that if she ate all of her lunch (half of a turkey pot pie), she could have a piece of Halloween candy. She was excited about the idea, but after a bite or two she gave up eating to watch me clean the house, and to sit on my lap while I played a computer game. Around 2 PM she climbed off my lap and quietly walked into the kitchen. Her departure was followed by the following sounds: scraping, a bag rustling, and a dish being put in the sink. About 10 seconds later, she appeared at my side, with a huge smile on her face...
4 yr old: There! I finished my lunch and you said I could have some candy!
Me: Yeah... you scraped your bowl into the garbage, and you are trying to trick me.
4 yr old: *shocked look* You didn't SEE me, so how do you know?
Me: so you didn't do that?
4 yr old: *deer in headlights look* I wouldn't! You didn't SEE me!
Me: Alright, then I'm going to walk in there and SEE
4 yr old: No! You can't! It won't be right! Don't do that!
I walked into the kitchen and she grabbed the garbage bag then showed it to me - on the top of the bag was what appeared to be half of a turkey pot pie...
4 yr old: I should have told you, my brother threw HIS away!
Me: Your brother didn't get any.
4 yr old: Oh, you just didn't KNOW he got some!
Me: Nice try, but you still don't get any candy.
Kids and their "celebrities"
Unless you've ever stayed up late on a Saturday night watching television in Reno, Nevada, you've probably never heard of Zomboo (pronounced Zombo). Zomboo is the very strange, and surprisingly popular, host of a local cheesy horror movie show that starts at 11:35 on most Saturday nights. My 7 yr old daughter is always trying to stay up to watch him, but almost never succeeds. Sunday we took our kids to Reno's "Safe Trick or Treat", and Zomboo was there, so our girls got to meet him... we heard about almost nothing else from our 7 yr old for the rest of the night, and she's been excitedly telling everyone she knows since then.
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