THing

My two youngest kids have problems making the "th" sound.


5 yr old and 7 yr old are looking through a magazine together...



5 yr old: Wow, I want that sing!

7 yr old (looking smug with herself): Sing? It doesn't sing.

5 yr old (a bit irritated): Not sing, SING. SSSSSSSSSing... like I want to buy somesing from da store. I want dat sing dere.

7 yr old: Silly, it's not said "Sing", it's a FING. vat fing looks like a neat toy. I want to buy somefing from the store. FFFFFFFFFFFFFing.

Every time a fly screams, an ant gets its wings

I'm not sure how I forgot to post this, but luckily I remembered about it today...

Recently my 5 yr old and I were walking down the street and he saw some flying ants, which resulted in me being told the following "fact."

5 yr old: I know where ants get their wings from

me: Where?

5 yr old: When ants want to get some wings, they kill a fly, cut off their wings, and then tie the wings onto their own backs, then move their bodies to make the wings flap.

Only some people can see them...

Over the past few days, my kids have been collecting sticks, and various other nature items, to start building a "fairy home" in our yard, which we will begin today after everyone is home from school. The kids talk quite a bit about fairies and find different items they think would work as cups, hats, pet leashes, etc... for the fairies, and are putting a lot of thought into how the house will look.

Walking my 5 yr old home from school this morning, he found a large wavy chunk of bark that he said is "a perfect porch" for the house. We discussed a few different features that they want to add, like a table, and a place to put their shoes, when he suddenly stopped talking. After about a minute of silence, the following conversation occurred:

5 yr old: Mommy, I know that fairies are real, but I've never seen one, because they're invisible to me

Me: Can anyone see them?

5 yr old: A few people

Me: So only some people can see them, and others can't?

5 yr old: Yeah, only some people can see fairies. I think the only people who can ever really see a fairy are lesbians.

He said the last sentence with such seriousness, and a hint of sadness, that I felt kind of bad for him, because I could tell he wished he could see the fairies too... but, damn, it was hard not to just bust up laughing. Luckily he spotted a squirrel just then, so he totally forgot the fairies for a bit.

Daddy's talking to you...

I had turned on a chat program, then left the room to do dishes, while my 5 yr old played a computer game. A few minutes later, he called to me...

"Mommy, Daddy's talking to you! He says something that starts with an s... um... S...A...L...Q... um... I think that's an S... then some other letters. What does that spell?"

Shopping

I might never take my 5 yr old shopping with me again. As we walked past the "intimates" section at Target, he ran over to a bunch of bras, started caressing one, and said "boobies" quietly to himself. This was shortly after he begged to buy a dress for himself.

Excuse me!

5 yr old: Mommy, I tooted. Excuse me!

me: Thank you for being polite.

5 yr old: So, when I say "excuse me" does that make the stink go away?

me: No, it's just polite.

5 yr old: Then what's the point?

Muh Tun Huh

After picking up the kids from school, I told them they could find a snack while I took a nap. I was reading when my 7 yr old came into the room, wimpering, with her tongue stuck out.

me: What's wrong?

7 yr old: Muh tun huh!

Looking closely, I could see a bit of a red spot on her tongue, but nothing really looked wrong

me: What happened?

7 yr old: I was looking for food in the deep freezer and my tongue got stuck.

me: on accident?

7 yr old: no, I put my tongue on there to see if it would really stick to something cold

me: did it?

7 yr old: yes! Look at muh tun! It HURTS!

me: well, I'm sorry you're hurt, but I guess you won't be doing that again, will you?

7 yr old (sticking out her bottom lip): No. My lip hurts too.

me: did you stick your lip and tongue on at the same time?

7 yr old: No... it was after my tongue

me (starting to smirk at this point): Why did you put your lip on the freezer after you hurt your tongue?

7 yr old (getting defensive): I had to see if it was still cold enough to stick!