She Can't Be Irish

My 9 yr old, talking about her best friend:

"She says she's Irish, but she's funny, so she can't be!"

Yum.

My 12 year old just ate her way through most of a giant bowl of cereal before realizing it was full of birdseed moth larvae.

She quickly washed out what was in her mouth, and dumped the rest of the bowl, then said, "Great, now my mouth tastes like moths."

Anything to get out of bed...

My 9 yr old got out of bed around midnight and tried to convince us that she couldn't stay in her loft bed, "because it's made of wood, and when the heater turns on, the heat rises, and my bed might catch on fire while I'm in it. DO YOU WANT THAT?"

7 yr old: "I know a long time ago people thought the world was flat."

me: "Yes, they did."

7 yr old: "A long, long time ago though. All the way in the 1970s!"

CSN Store Review

I've been given the opportunity to review an item from the CSN Stores. They have over 200 stores, and carry just about anything you can think of, at decent prices. Many of their items also have free shipping!

For back to school time I was very tempted by their great selection of children's backpacks, but, since it's closer to Christmas, I'm really thinking about getting something my kids can all use. With the huge selection it's so hard to choose!

I'll let you know how this goes!

Santa isn't like Chinese knockoff toys...

While eating tortillas, my 12 yr old tore one to look like a beard, stuck it to her chin, and said, "Hey, look! I'm the Mexican equivalent of Santa Claus!"

Abraham Lincoln

7 year old: I think I like Abraham Lincoln the most, because he was a great president, but I feel bad for the people who lived then because they only had pennies for cash.

me: They had other money back then.

7 yr old: Then why would they put such a great man on a penny? They obviously didn't have anything besides a penny to put his picture on!

nuts

On the way home from school yesterday, my 7 yr old, Z, was trying to pick up rocks to add to his "collection." It wouldn't be a problem if they were pretty rocks, but they're all ugly and grey, and he leaves them around the house for everyone else to step on. I kept telling Z to stop picking up rocks, when I looked back and saw that he was trying to hide two by twisting them into the hem of his shirt and holding them near his belt-line.

me: What are those?

Z (trying to look confused): What?

me: Right there.

Z looks down at the rocks twisted in his shirt, points to his groin area and says: Those are my nuts!

I just stood there staring at him for a few seconds, giving him the mom look.

Z: Fine. I'm sorry, those aren't my nuts. They're my LADY PARTS!

Seven and Some Change

7 yr old: Am I seven and three-quarters yet?

me: not yet

7 yr old: Am I seven and one penny yet?

Ant Farm

Heard coming from my 12 yr old's bedroom as she was setting up her new ant farm: Crap, crap, crap. CRAP! MOMMY!!!!!!