Terminator

My 11 yr old daughter's comment upon seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger on the morning news, discussing possible marijuana debates:

"Wow, the governor of California looks and sounds a LOT like the Terminator!"

Story from the Past - On the Death of a Hamster

This isn't directly something my kids said/did, but it involved them, and I was reminded of the situation when I read Michael Ian Black's story of a death in his family. This series of events took place about 2 years ago.

When my oldest daughter's hamster died, we still had all the setup, and the kids wanted to replace it with a new hamster. I very firmly said, "NO," which led my husband to think I meant they needed something else that could live in the hamster cage. A week later he took the kids out "to the park" and they came back with three pet mice - one for each kid.

If you think one hamster smells like pee, three mice smell like a urinal that hasn't been cleaned in a month.

About two weeks after the mice showed up, my then 4 yr old woke up to discover one of the mice had died during the night, and, as an honor to their lost friend, the other mice had started eating it.

After that, the kids lost interest in the other two mice, and I went "to the park" one day while the kids were at school, and my husband was at work. Thank God the pet store didn't try to charge me to take back those mice. Nobody ever commented on the missing pets, but if they'd asked I would have said that the Mouse Rapture had occurred and obviously both of our mice had been among the chosen.

Ice

My 6 yr old made a giant ice cube, using a metal measuring cup, and was trying to chip away at the block of ice with a spoon, so he could eat it. Why he likes to do that I'll never know, but I've given up asking.

The process was getting kind of messy...

Me: Careful, you're splashing ice all over the table.

6 yr old: That's how I roll.

Ouch! Killer Braniac

3 kids. 1 scooter. 1 umbrella. Walking home from school in rain and hail, the kids decided to make a game of hurrying up, by giving themselves the racer names "Brainiac" and "Killer" and "OUCH!", then setting up different styles of racing, and trying not to bowl over any other pedestrians that happened to be out in the same crappy weather.

It's about a 1/2 mile walk from the school to our house. By the time we got home everyone was laughing, drenched, chilly, and exhausted, so they collapsed in the living room to dry off and warm up.

Butter

My 6 yr old was eating some bread and butter with jam on it...

6 yr old: Mommy, what's this stuff on the bread?

me: jam

him: no, the stuff between that and the bread

me: butter?

him: yeah, what's it called?

me: butter

him: Oh! Thanks!

Moving over...

I'm moving my funny kid stories over from a general blog that I've never been good at keeping up with. I'll post from oldest to newest, and then start posting all brand new things over here.

Killer Klowns

My kids and I watched Killer Klowns from Outer Space today, during
which my 6 yr old turned to me and said, "This WOULD be scary, but
everyone knows that clowns don't exist."