She Can't Be Irish

My 9 yr old, talking about her best friend:

"She says she's Irish, but she's funny, so she can't be!"

Yum.

My 12 year old just ate her way through most of a giant bowl of cereal before realizing it was full of birdseed moth larvae.

She quickly washed out what was in her mouth, and dumped the rest of the bowl, then said, "Great, now my mouth tastes like moths."

Anything to get out of bed...

My 9 yr old got out of bed around midnight and tried to convince us that she couldn't stay in her loft bed, "because it's made of wood, and when the heater turns on, the heat rises, and my bed might catch on fire while I'm in it. DO YOU WANT THAT?"